BACON and EGGS
by The X-Filer
Summary: Have you ever wondered what it would be like if the bureao had to do a rehearsal for a healthy eating campaign?


BACON and EGGS

By

THE X-Filer

--

"Mulder, egg!"

"Scully, bacon!" Skinner order

"Why do I have to be the bacon?" Scully wined as they we're given their food suits

"Because you're always greasing up to that agent down the hall, what was his name again?" Mulder prompted

"I do not!..."

"Agent Dan, or should I say Mr Drum stick over there" Mulder gestured to the black haired agent wearing the drum stick outfit

"Mulder!"

"What?" Mulder looked at Skinner innocently

"Get in line!" Mulder and Scully walked over to the other food group dressed agents, he leaned over to Scully

"Greasing him up like a fried chicken"

"Well at least I don't flirt with Miss Swiss cheese over there? She's got enough holes to sink a battle ship" Mulder looked across at the brown woman wearing the cheese outfit

"Oh I don't know... maybe an aircraft carrier, but what I wouldn't do to..."

"Mulder!"

"What?!"

"Why is your suit on the wrong way?" Some of the agents laughed as Mulder looked down, Scully shook her head

"Well Sir... you see we eggs cook better sunny side up! Isn't that right boys?" They all looked at the other egg dressed agents who were just shaking their head

"Mulder"

"Yes sir" Mulder stripped off his suit and put it back on the right way, he looked at the yellow yoke bludge where his stomach usually was "Hey Scully I'm Pregnant!" Scully rubbed her face and gave him the 'Mulder you're embarrassing me' look

"Mulder..."

"Look!" he poked his stomach out and walked towards her, she backed up. Some of the agents laughed as they saw him

"I see Mulder! Now put it away" just then Mr 'Drum Stick' came up behind Scully

"Hello" Scully jumped and turned so fast that she slipped over and fell on her backside

"And you said you weren't greasy" Mulder said as Dan helped Scully up. Mulder turned and waddled over to Miss 'Swiss Cheese'

"Hello" he said as she turned around

"Hello, wow nice outfit what are you?" she asked. Mulder stood and looked at her

"I'm an egg"

"Oh? Hmm but don't eggs go off if you leave them too long in the sun?" Mulder nodded slowly

_'Back away slowly'_ Mulder thought as he looked across at Scully and Dan, who had now fallen on Scully

"Cross contamination of meats!" He yelled as he ran, well waddled, as fast as he could over to the pair

"Help me" squeaked the voice from below the drum stick, Mulder, Skinner and a few other agents pulled Dan off of Scully and then helped her up

"Bacon and Chicken, just don't go together' Mulder muttered, Scully just glared at him, Skinner turned to them

"Get in line and let's make this good" when everyone was ready he spoke loudly "Alright people, lets rehearse this again, and one and two and..." And on the count of three, Scully and her other unhealthy counterparts, the pizza, ice-cream, French fries and coke started singing

"We're unhealthy so...EAT US! La la la la la, EAT US!" they sang loud, then it was Scully's turn to do a solo

"I'm a doctor so I should know...EAT US!"

"La la la la la"

"EAT US!" They kept on singing until it was Mulder and his healthy friends turn, they sang loudly

"We're healthy and you know it, Eat Us!

We're like a bowl of soup, Eat Us!

Healthy like an artichoke

Watch out for bacon and coke

We healthy and you know it

EAT US!!" Suddenly they all shouted

"BRING IT ON!

Were healthy

We're not

We sit in steam pots!

We like

To drip

Oil from our tips

The best

You've had

Carrots aren't a fad

We Hate

The grease

My god was that a pea?

Shhh!

Keep quite

We'll help you with your diet

We love

And we lead

We steam until we're clean

Were...

E.E.Egg

B.B.Bacon

Dru.Dru. Drum Stick

I'm Swiss cheese

GO!! FOOD GROUPS!!" Skinner looked on smiling

"Good job people! But we need to tone up the unhealthy side, Bacon you need to grease it up a bit more" Scully just looked at him

"Sir?"

"Just Grease it up! You can do it"

"I'll grease something up but it won't be the bacon" Scully muttered under her breath, just then Mulder came up beside her

"Told you, you had to grease it up"

"Mulder shut up" Mulder laughed as they started to walk to the change rooms

"So how did it go with the drum stick?" Mulder asked

"Well after the meat contamination, well let's just say bacon and chicken don't go together" Mulder laughed

"So how did you and the Swiss cheese go?" Mulder shuddered

"I'll tell you this once, Cheese and Egg do not go together" Scully laughed, Mulder looked across at her "So I guess that's why bacon and eggs go together so well" Scully met his gaze

"Yeah I guess that's why" they both smiled as they entered the different change room, both having the same thought

_'Bacon and Eggs'_

**--**

**Don't ask me**** why cause I have no idea lol**

**Ok let me know what you thought**

**Hope you enjoyed**

**Thanks for reading!**


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